The Rape of Europa

O.K., so after sitting through "Across the Universe," I was really looking for something different. Sort of like when you take a drink at the Dentist's office to rinse your mouth from the plaque. I saw a sign for "The Rape of Europe" and figured, "Hmm, maybe this will be interesting." It was far more than I ever imagined.
Stop right now, it was not that kind of movie! It is a documentary about World War II. Notably, how Hitler -- in addition to be a mass murderer and greatest villain the planet Earth has ever known -- was also an art thief. All over Europe, he ordered that the greatest European works of art being stolen and shipped to Germany to be part of his private art collection. By the time of his downfall, he owned a collection that would be worth billions of dollars today.
The documentary is skillfully narrated. I am not much of a fan of non-fiction movies, but this one is so gripping, you really don't mind. We don't often remember the horrors that gripped the world last century. What makes the subject of the film so compelling is that art is considered one of the great achievement of modern civilization. Monkeys don't make art. Dolphins are wonderful animals, but they can't paint. Early man was great at using clubs to kill their prey, but could they leave traces of emotion on canvas? I don't think so.
Yet, the most beautiful and moving works or art were looted by a madman. A crazed hooligan who came frightening close to dominating the world. This film is important because it shows the next generation just how far evil can go when left unchecked.
By the way, few people realize that Hitler was an art school drop out. He could just not cut it, even though he claimed to love art. Maybe stealing all these famous paintings was his way of gaining revenge on his old art teachers

Be Brave: See the Brave One

I really like "The Brave One." This movie really moves. It has all the action you need, but the way Jodie Foster has created and developed her character, this is more than just a slam, bang film.
Foster produced, directed and stared in this film. For those of us who have been fans of Foster's art for years, this is her best yet. She plays a successful radio personality. She has everything going for her. She is popular, has a great job, and is in love. Yet one night all her dreams are shattered. She is brutally attacked and her love is killed. Instead of tracking down the killers, the police throw up their hands and she is left alone to seek justice.
I know, I know. I can hear you all saying "hey this is nothing new. We have heard the same plot over and over again." And if this film was just "Dirty Harry" in a dress, I would agree with you. But it's not, take my word for it.
By having the main character as a woman, the film flows differently than if Cliff Eastwood was running through with his .357 magnum. She constantly questions herself, wondering if she can handle the task that she knows she must. In the end, we are really wonder, can she do it? Is she strong enough? I don't want to spoil the ending for you so I won't tell you. Just go see this film.
I spoke with Foster about the film. Here is a secret. Originally, her character was a newspaper reporter. She told me she decided to switch to a radio personality so that her tragedy would be open for the whole world to see and, of course, she would have that much added pressure on her shoulders.
Between us, I think she made the right choice.

Lean Across the Universe -- and Gag!

"Across the Universe" has a wonderful title. It really is good. It is short enough to remember. It is catchy. And it makes you think that this film will present a wonderful vision of how good life can be. Unfortunately, the film does no such thing. In fact, the title is maybe the only redeeming part of the entire movie!
Remember when a guy named Peter Frampton starred in a movie based on the Beatles album Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club Band. It was downright horrible. I would rather discuss life insurance options with a team of agents than sit through that garbage. Now, "Across the Universe" makes Frampton's folly look like a nice venue for a date!
Here is the concept: Every line of dialogue is from a Beatle's song. Every character (yes, even Jo-Jo and Prudence) are from Beatle's songs. That's it. That's the whole idea. No, there is no in depth plot. No character development. Just people singing Beatle's songs. Has Hollywood really run out of better ideas?
Don't get me wrong. I love Beatles songs. I just like them when they are sung by the Beatles! I really am not that busy, but I do not have 2 hours to sit and be disgusted. Actually, the film is more than two hours. Someone thought that the movie would not be complete unless every single Beatles song was mentioned!
Now, I need to go rent "Help" or "A Hard Day's Night" just so that my Beatles memories are not completely sullied by this movie.

#10: Arthur

We will take a short break from reviewing all the Summer's movies because A) We have already reviewed all the good ones, and B) I have something in mind which will be much more fun. Today, we start counting down the ten funniest movies of all time. The films are ranked according to.... well, according to me to be honest!

Coming in at #10 is the classic (of course, all ten of these movies will by definition be considered "classic") comedy, Arthur. Now when I first heard about the movie, my reaction was to skip it. I mean who would write a comedy that is based on the drunken rambling of an alcoholic. It's cheap comedy. I mean by nature, everything a drunk guy does is both funny and pathetic.

But Arthur is written so strongly that you can't help but laugh. For sure, they took a chance that people would be disgusted. The famous scene at Tavern on the Green between Arthur and Gloria, the prostitute could have turned the whole audience off. Yet because of Dudley Moore's skill, he pulls it off and has us all rolling in the aisles. "You're a hooker? Jesus, I forgot! I just thought I was doing GREAT with you!" I could watch that scene over and over again and still laugh. How about when Burt Johnson tells Artur that he never drinks and Arthur response is "That's great! You probably never run out of ice your whole life!"

Let's not forget another stunning performance by Liza Minnelli and Barney Martin has a down and out family that has no money but has a lot of love to go around. It's cheesy, predictable, and fantastic. I like to see film makers taking chances, and they certainly did take a risk with Arthur. It paid off for them. Now, if only I could say anything nice about the two dismal sequels. Those films should still be in rehab!

Skinwalkers Makes Your Flesh Creep!

So here, as best as I could understand it, is what "Skinwalkers" is about. Skinwalkers have wolf blood running in their veins. This leads them to be a fairly violent group of people. They may look like normal people (well, like normal psychopathic killer people, but otherwise normal). They can kill with curses and move at lightening speed. They are always searching the sky for the rise of the blood-red moon. Of course, Hollywood has combined werewolves and vampires because skinwalkers thirst for the taste of human blood, but that's just a minor detail.

Young "Timothy" is approaching his thirteenth birthday. Yet he is not looking forward to a Bar Mitzvah party. No, when Tim turns thirteen he will turn into a crazy, flesh eating monster. On his 13th birthday, Timothy will become another skinwalker. He, for reasons not adequately explained, has the power to end the curse and let the skinwalkers lead normal lives. If the curse ends, they no longer will need human blood (and who knows, maybe they will also get haircuts and some nice, new clothes!)

Overall, this terrifying, action adventure is not the least bit terrifying. You have to spend too much time figuring out who is who. Yes, there are "good" (relatively) skinwalkers and bad ones. Unfortunately, they tend to dress alike. It's too confusing telling them apart.

My advice, go see Ocean's Thirteen with a date instead. It's a charming comedy rather than a depraved, bloody horror film. Makes a much nicer evening out.

Watching this Movie is Torture!

The new film "Captivity" lives up to its name in that when you watch it, you feel as if you are being held captive. Luckily you can escape by leaving the theater. That being said, if anyone is still there when the closing credits come up, better send in a paramedic to make sure they are still alive.

Now, what can you say about a movie which opens with a bound and gagged male model being force fed battery acid. Don't worry, it gets even better when the heroine/victim, played by Elisha Cuthbert who should have known better, also ends up bound and gagged. I would say that there is too much gratuitous violence in this move, but that would be a mistake. The word gratuitous indicates that the violence has nothing to do with the plot and is added for no apparent reason. In Captivity, the violence is the whole plot. Anything else such as character development would be gratuitous.

Of course Cuthbert wears a sexy dress throughout and manages not to have her make-up run while being pursued and then captured (hence the creative title of the film). Yet if you really need to see her, buy a poster. Don't let Hollywood think that anyone out there could possibly value this garbage.

In fact, this film is so bad that if the projector had broken and I had sat in a completely dark room staring at the wall, it would have been a more pleasurable experience than watching Captivity. My only theory is that maybe this film was made so that virtually any other film will look good. Is a sequel to Xanadou coming out?

Ocean's Thirteen Revisited

Since this is my blog, I am going to do something a bit unorthodox. A reader thought my review of Ocean's Thirteen was a bit unkind. She asked me to watch the movie again and maybe consider writing a new review. I said that I would, but the risk would be that the new review would be even more harsh than the original. She was so sure I would actually like the film, that she agreed.

So what do I think now? Well, I have to admit that Danny Ocean and his crew do grow on you. While they are notorious thieves, they are also rather charming. When you add this fact to the idea that they are stealing not to get rich but to help a friend, you end up rooting for them.

The movie does move much quicker than Ocean's Twelve. It is easier to understand although I am somewhat of a loss why the Mexican strike scenes did not end up on the cutting room floor. They really were more of a distraction than a key part of the plot.

Another weakness was the way Abigail Sponder reacted to the pheromone. If it was that easy, they would sell the stuff next to the popcorn! And whomever did not predict the "surprise" ending does not deserve to be admitted to a movie theater.

Yet that being said, it was entertaining. It is not really Oscar material, but I can think of many worse ways to spend an evening (especially with an attractive companion.!) Afterward, I highly recommend going out for Sushi and beer. It can really cap off the night!