The new film "Captivity" lives up to its name in that when you watch it, you feel as if you are being held captive. Luckily you can escape by leaving the theater. That being said, if anyone is still there when the closing credits come up, better send in a paramedic to make sure they are still alive.
Now, what can you say about a movie which opens with a bound and gagged male model being force fed battery acid. Don't worry, it gets even better when the heroine/victim, played by Elisha Cuthbert who should have known better, also ends up bound and gagged. I would say that there is too much gratuitous violence in this move, but that would be a mistake. The word gratuitous indicates that the violence has nothing to do with the plot and is added for no apparent reason. In Captivity, the violence is the whole plot. Anything else such as character development would be gratuitous.
Of course Cuthbert wears a sexy dress throughout and manages not to have her make-up run while being pursued and then captured (hence the creative title of the film). Yet if you really need to see her, buy a poster. Don't let Hollywood think that anyone out there could possibly value this garbage.
In fact, this film is so bad that if the projector had broken and I had sat in a completely dark room staring at the wall, it would have been a more pleasurable experience than watching Captivity. My only theory is that maybe this film was made so that virtually any other film will look good. Is a sequel to Xanadou coming out?
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