Ocean's Thirteen Revisited

Since this is my blog, I am going to do something a bit unorthodox. A reader thought my review of Ocean's Thirteen was a bit unkind. She asked me to watch the movie again and maybe consider writing a new review. I said that I would, but the risk would be that the new review would be even more harsh than the original. She was so sure I would actually like the film, that she agreed.

So what do I think now? Well, I have to admit that Danny Ocean and his crew do grow on you. While they are notorious thieves, they are also rather charming. When you add this fact to the idea that they are stealing not to get rich but to help a friend, you end up rooting for them.

The movie does move much quicker than Ocean's Twelve. It is easier to understand although I am somewhat of a loss why the Mexican strike scenes did not end up on the cutting room floor. They really were more of a distraction than a key part of the plot.

Another weakness was the way Abigail Sponder reacted to the pheromone. If it was that easy, they would sell the stuff next to the popcorn! And whomever did not predict the "surprise" ending does not deserve to be admitted to a movie theater.

Yet that being said, it was entertaining. It is not really Oscar material, but I can think of many worse ways to spend an evening (especially with an attractive companion.!) Afterward, I highly recommend going out for Sushi and beer. It can really cap off the night!

Die Hard, Real Hard

The original Dire Hard with Bruce Willis was really a trend setting movie. Today, dozens of movies rely on computer generated special effects and unrealistic stunts. The great thing about Die Hard is that the plot is very simple and the action is fast and furious, but low tech. In other words, it is completely believable. To me, that makes a difference in a movie.

Willis is a New York cop going through a divorce. While trying to see his ex, he gets unwittingly involved in a high stakes robbery/kidnapping. Terrorists have taken over a sky scraper with a well orchestrated plan to steal millions of government bonds kept in a vault in the building. Their plan was to get into the building, take hostages to serve as a distraction, and then get out with the money. What they didn't count on was a lone cop stuck in the building who finds out about their plans.

Everyone ends up rooting for Willis, the ultimate underdog as one by one he gets rid of the bad guys and brings the odds down to an acceptable level. What is really gripping is the way he nabs one of the terrorists radios and calls the head of the ring every time he has killed one of the gang members. "Hey Hans, Wolfgang can't come to the phone. He's dead." All the time, he is taunting the terrorists so that they get overcome with a desire for revenge and lose sight of their plan. Amazingly, his idea works.

Spider Scary

One of my favorite movies of all time is Arachnophobia, the movie for those of us who love and hate big spiders. The movie is great because of the way it skillfully weaves together comedy, terror, and great drama. Just when you are relieved that everything will be o.k., a mass of venomous spiders comes to prove you wrong.

The comedy is provided by none other than John Candy. In this movie, Candy is the hero, a cigar chomping exterminator who feels that beating the evil South American spitting spiders will be his greatest challenge. Rather than shirking away from the fight, he comes at the spiders with a double barrel of special formula spidercide that he made just for the occasion.

Yet don't get too carried away with Candy's comedy. John Cusak delivers an Oscar caliber performance as the local town doctor whose house becomes the incubator for the spiders. You feel that you are right there with him as he battles to save his family from the clutches of the terrifying spiders. His screams echo in our hearts as he ends up face to face with the giant spider mother.

The setting of the film is in rural Iowa, although some scenes were filmed on location in the rainforests of Brazil. I also would like to note the animal trainers who controlled the 2,000 real spiders used in the movie. They really know their business. Personally, I would be very hesitant to work with so many little, evil bugs. But these guys were able to pull off one of the best and most underrated feature films of all time.

You can probably get it at a video store of find it online. Watch it today, but take my advice, keep the lights on!

A Big Ocean

With the release of Ocean's Thirteen, it may be appropriate to look back at the original Ocean's Eleven and Ocean's Twelve before we can render a good judgment on the latest film. It has been a while since the first release so let's briefly go over the plot.

Actually, Ocean's Eleven is itself a remake of the 1960 Rat Pack caper film Ocean's Eleven. Yet it bears little resemblance to the original. George Clooney plays an ex con, sophisticated thief. He is extremely bright and wants to commit the biggest heist ever. Part of the reason is personal. He wants to get even with the owner of the Blaggio casino, Terry Benedict. Ocean's ex wife is now seeing Benedict. Ocean figures he will steal all of Benedict's money, and then get his ex wife back. He recruits the absolute best thieves and con men in the business to pull it off.

In order to get to the vault, Ocean has to set up two robberies. He knows that it will be almost impossible to pull it off. So the first robbery has to be extremely successful so it looks real. Just to get to the point where they would fail would take a lot of planning. The second robbery, the real thing, depends on Benedict being convinced that the first robbery was real. So much so that he calls in a SWAT team to take out Ocean's group. Ocean, however is one step ahead. The phone call to SWAT is rerouted to Ocean who sends in his own team. Ocean's first team "arrests" his second team. By the time Benedict realizes he has been fooled, Ocean and his money (yes, and even his ex wife) are long gone.

It's a real good movie. The only problem is you have to pay attention the whole time. You can't miss even a minute of the plot, because you will have no idea how the heist works. It can also be difficult to keep track of eleven main characters!

However, it is definitely worth it. Go rent it before you go spend money on the new Ocean's Thirteen.

Why the Oscars Are Ridiculous

There is nothing wrong about recognizing greatness. To bestow an award on anything that is truly excellent is something we love to do. Olympic Gold medal winners stand atop a pedestal, the "best breed" at a dog show prances around with a yellow ribbon pinned to its collar, and the Coney Island hot dog eating champion signs autographs for hours in the hot sun.

When it comes to movies, we have the Oscars. I love the annual award ceremony where the best movie of the year is picked. Yet, the three hour event is now a sleeper because there are so many categories. I do want to see and applaud the best movie. I am also interested in the best Actor. Yet why can't men and women both compete for that award? We are trying to determine who does the best job, not who does the best job in relation to their gender. In the Olympics, men and women compete in different categories because we are physically different. It would not be fair to have women and men together. There is just no way the best female weightlifter could beat her male counter-part. Yet why do we feel that the same holds true in acting?

Why do we have to give award to supporting actors and actresses? Why do directors, producers, and editors get awards? I don't care who has the best make-up and the best costumes, do you? All these things are parts of a movie. If every part of the movie is great, then the movie should win. I will not go see a movie that the critics panned just because it won "best make-up" at the Oscars.

I say reduce the whole event to two awards. It would take five minutes and we could all get on with the rest of our lives. We might even have time to watch the film and the actor who won.